An Unholy Alliance

Nancy’s written exams took the form of 6 questions, each of which required an approximately ten-page response. Given that English uses the MLA (Modern Language Association) format, writing in the APA (American Psychological Association) system was new to me. The lit review, methods and research sections, and in-text citations present a different set of challenges than a humanities manuscript.

Nancy’s M. O. regarding these early appointments set the pattern for what would follow over the next three years. She would first query me obsessively on how long I could work with her. It was as if she couldn’t process my answer. Despite my reassurances that I could work as long as she wanted, she would repeat the question: N. “but how long can you work?” R.“I just told you, I can meet for as long as you want.” N. “Are you sure?” This dialogue would usually be repeated at least three times before she moved to the next item of business. N. “Okay, what time can you meet?” R. “After two o’clock.” N. “It takes me an hour to get there, how about three.” R. “Fine, I’ll see you when you get there.” Well, she was never, ever, on time. Eventually I made it a rule that if we set a time, the clock started when I got there. Of course, her invariable tardiness led me to bend this rule somewhat.

Her idol in the communications field was one Andy Petronious. Nancy had actually attended conferences where Petronious, a guru of CPM (Communications Privacy Management theory) had presented. Nancy’s bizarre fantasy world was such that she fancied herself as one of Petronious’s theoretical collaborators. Nancy saw her own critical ideas as foundational to Petronious’s theories. In Nancy’s words, “that bitch stole my ideas.”

The supreme irony in this crazy story is that her discipline and my dissertation, the idea that either one of us, two very different but wholly lost dysfunctional souls, could provide any insight on issues even remotely related to healthy family communication. More laughable is the idea that in spite of the obvious disconnect between her oral persona and the written work she was turning in, it was still possible to sustain the attention of a graduate committee, and ultimately produce an actual Ph.D. Wow!