Plenary Indulgences, Multiple Embryos, and Shadow's Lament: DARWIN, TWAIN, and the POPE

“Here’s the mirror—look and wince. One out of every four of us think we’ve been reincarnated; 44 percent of us believe in ghosts; 77 percent, in angels. Forty percent of us believe God created all things in their present form sometime during the last 10,000 years. Nearly the same number—not coincidentally, perhaps—are functionally illiterate. Twenty percent think the sun might revolve around the earth.”
-- Harpers Magazine, 2/09

Being baptized a Catholic, it’s no wonder then I was so relieved to hear my church bulletin’s news: “Bishop announces Plenary Indulgences.” You knew they had to do it. With all the debauchery, decadence, and downright shameful behavior pervadin’ the planet, something had to be done. Prior to the Bishops’ decree,I was worried as hell about goin to Hell! Now I can escape Lucifer’s BQ by doin’what those murderin’ Medieval perverts did, buy my way out. Well, maybe not exactly. I mean, the new edict didn’t say they were for sale. But I’m assumin’ they are. I even asked that guy, Blagoyawhateverhisnameis, and he said they’re sellin’ em’. Saw the Times today and just about fell outta my chair: “In recent months, dioceses around the world have been offering Catholics a spiritual benefit that fell out of favor decades ago – the indulgence, a sort of amnesty from punishment in the afterlife – and reminding them of the church’s clout in mitigating the wages of sin.”

Now that’s what I want, amnesty from punishment in the afterlife. I mean, I saw “Little Nicky,” and that ain’t where I wanna end up. I guess the Pope figured Martin Luther’s party poopin’ expose of the Papists’ redemption peddling scheme died down enough since 1517 to open shop again. That damn Protestant Reformation is still a sore spot with old Ratzo Rattzinger, and ya’ can’t blame him. I’m in agreement with that dude from Brooklyn: “’Why are we bringing it back?’ asked Bishop Nicholas A. DiMarzio, who has embraced the move. ‘Because there is sin in the world.”

This got me to thinking about just how sinful a world we’re in. I mean, think of the all the baby killers out there. Why just today I got an e-mail made me mad enough to bust up a condom shop:

"Dear Friend,What happened in Florida is a tragedy. A little girl, gasping for air, born and then left to die in a trash bag before being hauled out.Yet the eyes of the world are focused on one little girl's death in that Florida abortion mill. But Shanice at least has a name. And she'll be remembered, and her death will be mourned.But what about the lives of the other 3,500 babies? Who mourns their deaths or fight for their personhood -- and their very lives?American Life League is fighting this -- right now -- in our neighborhoods and communities, and we need YOUR help to continue.Need proof? In 1997, as many as 19 Planned Parenthood abortion mills were operating in the Diocese of Amarillo. After executing our plan to get rid of Planned Parenthood, by 2008 there were ZERO clinics in operation.You read this right -- American Life League, through your prayers and donations, drove Planned Parenthood out of the Texas Panhandle.Your quick donation right away helps us take out these abortion mills, shutting them down for good! At a time when the abortion lobby is demanding billions in handouts from Washington, every dime we get goes to put tragedies such as what happened to Baby Shanice to an end.Impact matters in the fight to end abortion -- your donation of $250, $100, $50, or even just $25 right away will make an impact!Abortionist hire attorneys that cost a fortune defending their heinous acts. Every dollar we use to shine a light on their terrible profession, they spend five dollars or more fighting us back. Now that's an impact that will put the abortionists out of business!Your prayers and your support matters. And if you can't make a quick donation online, just print out this e-mail and send it back to us!

Yours in the Lord who IS Life,

Judie Brown

PresidentAmerican Life League"

That’s right Judie, we need to save every cottin pickin baby we can. In fact we should encourage every prospective mother to consult a brave doctor like the one that implanted SIX embryos in that Suleman lady in sunny Californiay.

This from Yahoo! The News!:

"Suleman, 33, of Whittier, already had six children when she gave birth Jan. 26 to octuplets. The births to an unemployed, divorced single mother prompted angry questions about how she plans to provide for her children.
But the backlash seems to have extended as well to Suleman's doctor.
In a portion of an NBC interview, broadcast Friday, Suleman said she had six embryos implanted for each of her in vitro pregnancies, using the same sperm donor and fertility specialist.
In the case of the octuplets, the procedure resulted in six boys and two girls, including two sets of twins.
"The revelation about one center treating her makes the treatment even harder to understand," said Arthur Caplan, bioethics chairman at the University of Pennsylvania. "They went ahead when she had six kids, knowing that she was a single mom ... and put embryos into her anyway."
In the United States, there is no law dictating the number of embryos that can be placed in a mother's womb. Multiple embroys can be implanted to improve the odds that one will take.
However, there are national guidelines which put the norm at two to three embryos for a woman of Suleman's age, in order to lessen the health risks to the mother and the chances of multiple births.
When asked why so many embryos were implanted, Suleman told NBC: "Those are my children, and that's what was available and I used them. So, I took a risk. It's a gamble. It always is."
She said her life's goal was to be a mother and she had struggled for seven years before finally giving birth to her first child in 2001.
"All I wanted was children. I wanted to be a mom. That's all I ever wanted in my life," Suleman said in the portion of the interview that aired Friday. "I love my children."
According to state documents, Suleman told a doctor she had three miscarriages. Another doctor disputed that number, saying she had two ectopic pregnancies, a dangerous condition in which a fertilized egg implants somewhere other than in the uterus."

This women’s got one hell of a litter, and I know both Judie, God, and the Pope are mighty proud. Praise God! If this ain’t a good reason to outlaw abortion, I don’t know what is! Easy with those exclamation points, big fella!

Well, you guessed it, ‘Shadows been lookin’ over my shoulder, and she is pissed!. Seems she remembers my mention of Mark Twain’s essay, “The Lowest Animal.” The one where he says every other animal species is higher than man, and that man is plagued by a curse no other animal suffers: the moral sense, the capacity to know right from wrong and then choose to do wrong. She was so proud thinkin’ she was top dog. She was as dead serious as Twain in thinkin’ the Mississippi side-paddler had it right. Wrong, Fido!!

Mr. Smarty pants, Samuel Clemmons, thought he was being funny when he mocked Mr. Darwin and his Beagle boys, but he had it wrong. According to Carl Zimmer’s article in today’s Science Times (02/10/09) in the NYT, Darwin’s ideas twernt’ no different than Twain’s:
“Darwin believed there was a continuity between humans and other species, which led him to think of human morality as related to the sympathy seen among social animals. This long-disdained idea was resurrected only recently by researchers like the primatologist Frans de Waal. Darwin ‘never felt that morality was our own invention, but was a product of evolution, a position we are now seeing grow in popularity under the influence of what we know about animal behavior,” Dr. de Waal says. “In fact, we’ve now returned to the original Darwinian position.’”

Until Next Time – Randy Tessier