The 20th Hijacker

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
-- Dean Martin

NEWS ON THE MARCH

“Susan J. Crawford, Convening Authority, a title given the Pentagon official who oversees war crimes, dismissed the charges against one of the detainees charged with the 9/11 attacks. The alleged Saudi terrorist, Mohammed al-Qahtani, was held in secret CIA prisons before being transferred to Guantanamo in 2006. Pentagon officials described his treatment as “degrading and abusive." His case was dismissed ‘without prejudice.’” (NYTimes, 5/14/08)

All we did was force em to wear a bra and a leash while we made em perform a few pooch tricks. What’s wrong with that? If it’s good enough for Shadow, it’s good enough for Sheik Turban Boy. Shadow likes her doggie bras. Why, because they’re edible, made a dried pig ears.

Don’t that just frost your but? They let em go, the guy who’s the 20th hijacker, scot free. I guess that means were back to 19 Jihadis. What kind of number is that? It’s like in that movie, no one’s gonna buy seven minute abs, it’s eight minute abs. Fact is, I know where number 20s’ hidin out. My buddy, Hackaloogie, say he’s the guy that hijacked our civil liberties, whatever they are, our economy, that’s money, our health care, that’s doctorin, and our young sons and daughters, must be an abortionist. He said try Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington D.C.. What country’s that in?

Is there no God? Have we no shame! This Godless Sodom where unborn babies are being slaughtered daily will pay for its sins. The last judgment's coming, and when it does those little chopped up baby parts are gonna reassemble and throw us sinners in the lake of fire. Praise God and repent now!

I’ll tell you what scares me -- Charlton Heston’s gonna be there, and he’s gonna force the damned to eat that soylent green jello. Hey, Ann Arborites (that’s code for Sodomites) might just eat it. Why, cos it’s got soy in it (Can I get that at ‘Whole Foods?’).

You know, they auctioned off Chucky’s stuff today. Yep, the faux granite tablets he cradled in “The Ten Commandments,” his five-piece Ben-Hur outfit (which I propose be given to the Charlton Heston of rock), everything’s up for sale, over a thousand items. Say what, the Charlton Heston of rock? That’s right, we’ve got the King of rock-n-roll, the Godfather and Prince of funk, and the Queen of Soul, so why not the Charlton Heston of Rock!

I propose we get a clue from them West Virginians, they’re real Americans. They may not like women, but these banjo playin deliverance voters know white people when they see em. God bless the caller who told Victoria Switzer, a retired social studies teacher (I hate them socialists) manning an Obama phone bank, “Hang that darky from a tree.”

I noticed some a you readers are takin yer time and writin real good. Praise God!

God Bless America – mE

PS: That’s not Me on the Right.