I had a dream in which I saw Doris Campbell. We were at a YMCA that offered a funeral chapel as one of its benefits. She was made up in the fashion of someone a mortician had worked on. Her countenance was marked by garish lipstick, pasty pancake makeup, and bad rouge. In one hand she held a Pall Mall, in the other a Brandy Manhattan. She asked if I could spare a few painkillers. I said, “Doris, you don’t need any, you’re already dead.” To which she responded, “how do you know the dead aren’t in pain?” With that, Mike Roberts, Dickie Flack, and Colleen O’Hagen joined her and they serenaded me with a chorus of “Happiness is a Warm Gun.” When I awoke my feet were asleep.
Speaking of painkillers, ever heard of Suboxone? Though a wily veteran of high street naughtiness, during my trial by chemo, I succumbed to an urge to ease my existential angst. On first reporting my symptoms, pain in the lymph glands, I was prescribed Oxycodone for pain and Ambien for sleep.I use the term “existential” because for the most part there really was no specific pain. Yahoo! I mean, given that undergoing chemo puts one in a generally crappy state of mind and body, the painkillers functioned as a sedative distraction from an oftentimes stale, flat, and unprofitable existence. So, between July 07 and February 08, I hopped on the opiate express. And in no time at all, what at first was a pleasurable buzz quickly became a game of maintenance. Tic-tock, watch the clock. Take it and feel normal, or, experience the sickness of withdrawal. Count the pills and make them last. On chemo and addicted: oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh. Trouble is, you’re the horse. And that monkey you’re chauffeuring is fast becoming a gorilla. I knew I had to quit, long term, and as a part of my recovery. In early December I decided to forego the macho twenty something cold turkey plate, and treat my bad self to a helping of New Age pain management. Dr. B. looked weirdly cool, like a guy I could trust. Yeah, right. What did he look like? Imagine if Pee Wee Herman were cloned with Jeff Goldblum, this was he. After railing about the failures of other addiction treatments, methadone, etc., he launched into a paean to Suboxone, a miracle potion that, although used in Europe for two decades, has only in recent years been available in the United States.
What is suboxone?
Funny you should ask? Prick up your ears you pill hounds.
Suboxone tablets (buprenorphine hydrochloride and naxolone hydrochloride) is approved for the treatment of opiate dependence. Suboxone treats addiction by preventing symptoms of withdrawal from heroin and other opiates.
Suboxone sublingual tablets contain buprenorphine HCI and naloxone HCI dihydrate at a ration of 4:1 buprenorphine: naxalone (ratio of free bases).
Buprenorphine is a partial agonist at the mu-opioid receptor and an antagonist at the kappa-opioid receptor. Naxolone is an antagonist at the mu-opioid receptor.
Now that’s the official drug description. Here’s another kind of description I found on “Urban Dictionary”, a website.
“I currently take suboxone and I will tell you the real deal about them.…Our brains have 3 different receptors that accept opiates, delta, kappa & mu. Mu seems to be the receptor that causes the body to become dependant [sic] on different opiate substncs [sic]. Since suboxone is a “partial opiate”; it only acts on delta and kappa receptors, thus relieving the users withdraw [sic] symptoms. The Naltrex (naxolone) which blocks opiates from binding to receptors, stops them from working. Naltrex has a half-life of 2-3 hours…which means it is active in your body for 6 hours, 8 hours just to be safe. Since I take suboxone daily I know you can take an opiate the same day. For example: I wake up at 10am take my suboxone and by 8pm that night I can take an oxy and not go through any withdraw [sic]. In reguards [sic] to this drug not having a market on the street and the do not crush warning…that is all BS. I have lived in three major citys [sic] and have found markets for suboxone in all of them. Also, if you crush up a suboxone and snort it, it will be stronger than taking it sublingually and you will not withdraw that is a myth, believe me I have done it. I do not inject anything so I will not address that issue. Party safely please people.”
Having briefed you, dear reader, on what I entered into, allow me to continue my story. The plan was this, after a ½ day opiate fast I would return and begin a suboxone regimen. Two days later, after a miserably desperate night, I got to the clinic early, anxiously awaiting the miracle cure Dr. B. was so (excuse the pun) high on. With me, I had the two orange hexagonal suboxone tablets he had prescribed. He took one, broke it in two, told me to let it melt under my tongue, and informed me he would be back in 20 minutes. Half an hour later he breezes in and exclaims, “how do you feel now!” “Not much better, doc” I say. Looking disappointed, he gives me a script, tells me to take one tablet later in the day, and then ½ a tab a day for a week.
That night….
(To be continued)
Thank you Bonnie Q. for the Julia Sweeney CD’s “Letting Go of God.” I guess my eternal (excuse the pun) skepticism about the status of God makes Sweeney the perfect comedian to listen to. Actually, it’s not God I have a problem with. I like God in all of his/her ways, shapes, and forms, from the standard old white man with a beard image to the radical black lesbian re-invention model. Rather, it’s the diverse (or should I say perverse) fundamentalist fanaticism of his minions that colors my doubt.
Not surprisingly, Bonnie included some astrological material, which provides a nice complement to the religious material she sent. Since I was born in December of 1950, Bonnie kindly sent me an analysis of where I fit in the Zodiac.
“The Sagittarius born Tiger is a person who stubbornly, but charmingly, wishes to remain a child.”
“They fantasize about great adventures. But they will never go further than their own back yard.”
“This person is dealt a reckless and outspoken personality at birth. He is a victim of both Sagittarian and Tiger recklessness and swagger, hot headedness and vacillation.”
“The Sagittarian Tiger parent won’t be a disciplinarian. He thinks everybody—especially he—should be free.”
Speaking of painkillers, ever heard of Suboxone? Though a wily veteran of high street naughtiness, during my trial by chemo, I succumbed to an urge to ease my existential angst. On first reporting my symptoms, pain in the lymph glands, I was prescribed Oxycodone for pain and Ambien for sleep.I use the term “existential” because for the most part there really was no specific pain. Yahoo! I mean, given that undergoing chemo puts one in a generally crappy state of mind and body, the painkillers functioned as a sedative distraction from an oftentimes stale, flat, and unprofitable existence. So, between July 07 and February 08, I hopped on the opiate express. And in no time at all, what at first was a pleasurable buzz quickly became a game of maintenance. Tic-tock, watch the clock. Take it and feel normal, or, experience the sickness of withdrawal. Count the pills and make them last. On chemo and addicted: oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh. Trouble is, you’re the horse. And that monkey you’re chauffeuring is fast becoming a gorilla. I knew I had to quit, long term, and as a part of my recovery. In early December I decided to forego the macho twenty something cold turkey plate, and treat my bad self to a helping of New Age pain management. Dr. B. looked weirdly cool, like a guy I could trust. Yeah, right. What did he look like? Imagine if Pee Wee Herman were cloned with Jeff Goldblum, this was he. After railing about the failures of other addiction treatments, methadone, etc., he launched into a paean to Suboxone, a miracle potion that, although used in Europe for two decades, has only in recent years been available in the United States.
What is suboxone?
Funny you should ask? Prick up your ears you pill hounds.
Suboxone tablets (buprenorphine hydrochloride and naxolone hydrochloride) is approved for the treatment of opiate dependence. Suboxone treats addiction by preventing symptoms of withdrawal from heroin and other opiates.
Suboxone sublingual tablets contain buprenorphine HCI and naloxone HCI dihydrate at a ration of 4:1 buprenorphine: naxalone (ratio of free bases).
Buprenorphine is a partial agonist at the mu-opioid receptor and an antagonist at the kappa-opioid receptor. Naxolone is an antagonist at the mu-opioid receptor.
Now that’s the official drug description. Here’s another kind of description I found on “Urban Dictionary”, a website.
“I currently take suboxone and I will tell you the real deal about them.…Our brains have 3 different receptors that accept opiates, delta, kappa & mu. Mu seems to be the receptor that causes the body to become dependant [sic] on different opiate substncs [sic]. Since suboxone is a “partial opiate”; it only acts on delta and kappa receptors, thus relieving the users withdraw [sic] symptoms. The Naltrex (naxolone) which blocks opiates from binding to receptors, stops them from working. Naltrex has a half-life of 2-3 hours…which means it is active in your body for 6 hours, 8 hours just to be safe. Since I take suboxone daily I know you can take an opiate the same day. For example: I wake up at 10am take my suboxone and by 8pm that night I can take an oxy and not go through any withdraw [sic]. In reguards [sic] to this drug not having a market on the street and the do not crush warning…that is all BS. I have lived in three major citys [sic] and have found markets for suboxone in all of them. Also, if you crush up a suboxone and snort it, it will be stronger than taking it sublingually and you will not withdraw that is a myth, believe me I have done it. I do not inject anything so I will not address that issue. Party safely please people.”
Having briefed you, dear reader, on what I entered into, allow me to continue my story. The plan was this, after a ½ day opiate fast I would return and begin a suboxone regimen. Two days later, after a miserably desperate night, I got to the clinic early, anxiously awaiting the miracle cure Dr. B. was so (excuse the pun) high on. With me, I had the two orange hexagonal suboxone tablets he had prescribed. He took one, broke it in two, told me to let it melt under my tongue, and informed me he would be back in 20 minutes. Half an hour later he breezes in and exclaims, “how do you feel now!” “Not much better, doc” I say. Looking disappointed, he gives me a script, tells me to take one tablet later in the day, and then ½ a tab a day for a week.
That night….
(To be continued)
Thank you Bonnie Q. for the Julia Sweeney CD’s “Letting Go of God.” I guess my eternal (excuse the pun) skepticism about the status of God makes Sweeney the perfect comedian to listen to. Actually, it’s not God I have a problem with. I like God in all of his/her ways, shapes, and forms, from the standard old white man with a beard image to the radical black lesbian re-invention model. Rather, it’s the diverse (or should I say perverse) fundamentalist fanaticism of his minions that colors my doubt.
Not surprisingly, Bonnie included some astrological material, which provides a nice complement to the religious material she sent. Since I was born in December of 1950, Bonnie kindly sent me an analysis of where I fit in the Zodiac.
“The Sagittarius born Tiger is a person who stubbornly, but charmingly, wishes to remain a child.”
“They fantasize about great adventures. But they will never go further than their own back yard.”
“This person is dealt a reckless and outspoken personality at birth. He is a victim of both Sagittarian and Tiger recklessness and swagger, hot headedness and vacillation.”
“The Sagittarian Tiger parent won’t be a disciplinarian. He thinks everybody—especially he—should be free.”
3 comments:
Bonnie Q -- thanks for sending the cds and the astrological info. Now I'm curious about mine ... 2/3/69. Can you hook me up, too?
-- B of the Diner
B,
From what I have read about you on your blog, you fit the description of the Aquarian/Monkey perfectly! Just as I thought Randy fit Sag/Tiger. Will mail pages to Randy's address. Great book if interested in buying.
THE NEW ASTROLOGY BY Suzanne White.
~*~Peace~*~
Bonni Q
"Read and Relate"
The weather is, indeed, "wierdly cool," says BeBop Loco.
Enjoyed your post, and excellent economy of language, Amigo.
Thus saying, I highly recommend Sub and "Bupe," etc., so much so that I'm spending a measure of my time singin' it's praises, on Blog "Pain Pill Prison," where I've just pointed the same, with a teaser, to this fine post.
A miracle drug, impossible to abuse, possible to divert, but a cure to the Gorilla on Horse.
I'm down to seconds a day, now, and am desolving one of those little rascals under my tongue at this very moment.
"Take off your shoes...for Industry!"
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