8/7/07

THIS JUST IN: Imagine, if you will, a land of toothless, barefoot denizens. Among them lives a transplanted, sad, aging, delusional woman who was once my brother. Imagine she waits for her mommy to rescue her after another in an endless string of dysfunctional domestic episodes; A narrow minded mother who can only be described as an amalgam of Amanda and Blanche Dubois from Tennessee Williams’s “Glass Menagerie” and “ A Street Car Named Desire” respectively. Add in a trashy, Gibralter Trade Center cleric so bare of moral scruple he watches C.O.P.S. for spiritual uplift. The scene is this, Jenet, Mommy, and Father Jaybird are spending a tense evening together before driving back to Iowa from West Virginia. They are trying to get out of town before the 28 year old boyfriend is released from jail. Stay Tuned, I’ll tell this story in tomorrow’s blog

(To those of you who want to hear about lymphoma, please direct yourselves to the letter at the end of this blog posting)

“Happiness? That’s nothing more than health and a poor memory.”
-- Albert Schweitzer

Did I mention that my hair has begun to fall out, not in giant clumps or anything like that, (at least not yet) but in gentle wisps and strands. One of the topics of the day has to do with my going bald. The debate concerns whether or not it is better to, as someone suggested, “torture” myself with watching the hair gradually fall out of my head, or shave my skull and be done with it. I wrote some stuff last night that some might consider morbid. I’m still deciding whether it’s suitable for posting. In some ways, I suppose, the ethical issues surrounding blogging are a different matter than journalistic ethics in the traditional sense. I’m still trying to figure out why. Meanwhile, I’m sitting at the birdseye maple kitchen table in the brown camp, staring out over Lake Superior and wondering what I might say to attract an audience, or hits, as they say. It’s a bit like fishing, except that instead of using lures or bait, the blogger offers keywords and clever topics to attract readers. Okay, so what’s the clever topic of the day? How about something uplifting, like optimistic Hallmark poetry that lifts the spirit and heals the soul, you know, that Bernie Siegelish, angelic messenger stuff that makes one want to throw down their crutches and begin training for the Olympics. Since much of my university study (I’m an English major) focused on literary criticism, I thought it might be good fun to explicate, or, as we say in the business, unpack, a few poems. Heeding Oscar Wilde’s sage advice that, “There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written, “ let’s start with a poem by Jerry Hall:

he is a hollow hyperbole
the crowd plays him like a flute
a mythical icon
a Dionysian fluke
the crowd lives out their fantasy
through his mirror door they see
an image of the person
they wish that they could be
he fucks their women
and fights their battles against mediocrity
but when he comes home to me
all that’s left is v.d.

Now I suppose some of my more sophisticated colleagues might consider the rhyme scheme too obvious, but I kind of like this poem. If we concentrate on the content rather than form, we are presented with a chameleon-like subject who shape shifts according to what we want him to be. “[h]ollow hyperbole” has a nice ring to it, but can we really say why? I’m sure my mother would find this trashy, as she stands in the shadows, dreading the drag of old age, longing for a little helper, or, at least, a little help from her friends, (she never would say where she came from) she would be appalled at the profanity, as well as the venereal references. Oh well. Have I ever wished I could be like Mick? Absolutely!

Here’s a tried and true chestnut from William Carlos Williams (didn’t he go to school with Allen Ginsberg?)

so much depends
Upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens

Hmmmm…..Okay, I get it, the wheel barrow is a visual metaphor which the reader is asked to fill with meaning. Duh! This kind of semantic ambiguity is what makes poetry so vital in the world in which we live! So, the “red wheel barrow” has a totally different meaning for the medicinal marijuana grower in Mendocino County than it does for a street hustler in Hoboken (Frank Sinatra’s birthplace).

Here’s one by Frederick Seidel: (Regarding the ethics of blogging, is it okay that I simply say who the author is? Or, more specifically, how do copyright laws apply to cyberspace?)

Miami In The Arctic Circle

And the Angel of the Lord came to Mary and said:
You have cancer.
Mary could not think how.
No man had been with her.

And then there was the other time.
Remember how happy we were.
You were in my arms.
I still had arms.

The rain fell on upturned faces.
Stars rained down on the desert.
Everybody was body temperature.
Everywhere was temperate.

It was raining and global warming.
Spiritual renewal made it beautiful.
Desertification turned into desert.
The sky above was shooting stars.

The Martians rode across the desert
In their outfits and their armbands,
Clanging cymbals and banging a big drum.
Boom! Boom!

I am in favor of global warming.
I don’t care about great-grandchildren.
I won’t be here.
I won’t be there.

Angel, I can see your mouth wide open,
But can’t hear what you are singing.
The shaking roar of the liftoff
Does a vanishing act straight up.

Fiddles and viols, let me hear your old gold.
Trumpets, the petals of the antique rose unfold.
This is the end.
Testing, one, two, three, this is a test.

Regarding Sulfide mining on the Upper Penninsula’s Yellow Dog Plains: Isn’t it ironic how a gaggle of trolls, flatlanders from below the bridge, have to rescue the good sense of a bunch of U.P. ostriches with their heads buried so far in the sand that they think they’re getting real Chinese drugs and pet food; that “global warming” is a microwave setting; that France hates pasties; and that Hillary Clinton was on the grassy knoll in Dallas.

Here’s the letter:

Dear Doctors Kaminski and Ahmed:

Historically, those researchers who have provided the most benefit to humanity have undoubtedly subscribed to the utilitarian idea of “the greatest good for the greatest number.” What this means, I suppose, is that the scientist must always keep her eye on the big picture. Yes, there will always be individual pleas for small mercies, but ultimately, the goal is to make sure the data obtained results in the advancement of the treatment or therapy the researcher believes in. As a cultural theorist, of sorts, this makes perfect sense, but as a particular human being, a subset of the “greatest number,” the Darwinian aspects of my being must inevitably hold sway. And so, as futile as it may be, good doctors, allow me to continue my plea for what the literature I have compiled in front of me, and will cite in this argument, suggests will be the standard treatment for non-Hodgkin’s disease in the future.

Quoting from the medical journal, Leukemia & Lymphoma (July 2007; 48(7)) “Rituximab is a humanized murine antibody to the B-cell-associated antigen, CD20, that was first approved for the treatment of follicular lymphoma [1].” What I draw from this is that the trials with radioimmunotherapy follow the same research pattern (initial applications on the low-grade, follicular lymphoma) used in 1997, or shortly thereafter, when the R-C.H.O.P. treatment was first being formulated. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I assume that, then, as now with Bexxar, the (Rituximab) anti-CD20 monoclonal antibody therapy was used experimentally in patients with relapsed low-grade non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, as well as patients with transformed (faster-growing) non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. In your last e-mail, Dr. Ahmed, you mentioned that Bexxar is currently reserved for those who are 60 or older. I’m assuming that, from the standpoint of clinical research, this is because Bexxar has only been approved by the FDA for patients who have already received chemotherapy or Rituxan, or a combination of both. Quoting Understanding Drug Therapy and Managing Side Effects, “This drug is for patients whose disease has not responded to therapy or has come back.” While I understand doctors must abide by various FDA rules and questionable bureaucratic parameters, you, Dr. Kaminski, have been quoted by globalhealthvision.wordpress.com as saying, “For years we have known radioimmunotherapy, such as Bexxar, is one of the most effective treatments for patients with relapsed follicular lymphoma. These data show Bexxar is particularly effective when used as a FRONTLINE [my emphasis] treatment.” Your use of the word “frontline” is one of the compelling factors in my petition for help. Yes, I realize that the effectiveness of the conventional treatment makes it easy to prescribe the standard R-C.H.O.P. regimen, but, again, according to you, Dr. Kaminski, “These results compare quite favorably with those achieved with state-of-the-art chemotherapy regimens that take months to deliver.” Rather than bore you with more of what you already know, allow me to offer this personal, emotional appeal.

Please direct your sympathetic imagination toward my case from a personal perspective: pretend you were me. Knowing what you know about the comparative benefits and drawbacks of both treatments, which would you choose? I was going to write, “in your heart of hearts” which would you choose, but then I realized your decision would have nothing to do with any emotional sentiments, it would be, rather, a logical choice, dare I say a “no brainer.” My hope is that you might find a way to fit me into your work as a part of the research (perhaps the complication of having hepatitis – C might work to my advantage in this regard) or in any other way possible. If there is anything I can do to affect this outcome please, tell me. One goal I’m committed to is spreading the word, and singing the praises of the Cancer Center, as well as the merits of Dr. Kaminski’s radioimmunotherapy research, regardless of how my case unfolds. By the by, this Wednesday’s Ann Arbor News (8/8/07) will feature an editorial piece on The Cancer Center, and Dr’s Kaminski and Ahmed.
Best – Randall L. Tessier