7/30/07

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”
Following the Equator (1897) -- Mark Twain

It’s been one week today. The day is sublime. It’s 90 degrees inland but here on the beach it’s about 80 with a steady breeze. No flies. A pair of swaying Birch trees intermittently obscures my view of Black Rock point. Today begins a 3-4 day period where the chemicals should produce a drop in my white and red blood cell count. When I told the doc maybe this wouldn’t happen, I was informed that this was the desired effect. Nice! And so, as my chemo comrades know, “susceptibility” is a good thing. Train the immuno-suppression ray on ALL: the Emperor of Ice Cream’s invading horde and those long loyal mitochondrial legions that provide my mane. Death to all! Let the cellular wars rage: Collateral damage reports begin coming in on day 7, as an isolated outpost at Point Alpha Ulnar Marrow is overrun by Field Marshall Sagramostim. A squadron of special DNA busting Daisy Cutters is dispatched to destroy the enemy colonizers…
Mayday! Mayday!

…Storytelling is all too human. There must always be a reason, a story. We don’t really believe that “shit happens” philosophy. Admit it, you asked for it. You brought this on yourself: He smoked, she drank, bad diet, immoral living, overweight, philanderer, atheist, communist, non-Christian, Christian, pacifist, agnostic, Satanist, homosexual, out of tune, and so on. The cancer personality persists in a culture of psychology. It’s the ominous, opposing side of the pop culture coin of the realm: the power of negative thinking. I’m a cancerous being; my thoughts and habits are malignant; I’m diseased. Self-Help, the New Age Gospels, they can be of no help without asking, why me? (The Existentialist would say, why not?) Curiously, we don’t adopt this sensibility with animals. No one asks why Poofy died. It’s curious that we spare animals the inhumanities we so callously bestow on our fellow human beings, We think nothing of putting our pet out of its misery, yet we readily tolerate the pain and suffering of those close to us in the name of some outdated theological absurdity: “Sorry ma, you can beg all you want, I’m not gonna put you out of your misery.” “Sure, I love you ma, but not as much as God, your pain and suffering is up to him.” “Quit buggin’ me, it can’t be that bad. Suck it up!” “Look ma, you want me to got to hell? How selfish can you get, you’re willing to let me burn forever just because you’re suffering.” “Here’s a couple a aspirin, offer it up to Jesus.” I doubt that Jesus, one of my heroes, would abide human pain and suffering. Disturbingly, two areas of medicine that are woefully neglected in our culture, which is a curious phenomenon considering the all too often unquestioned assumption that we are an enlightened society, are Euthanasia and Palliative care. Considering the latter, do we really care if a 75-year-old woman in intractable pain might get hooked on drugs? Should I worry that she might steal my high-def TV, or prostitute herself at the hospice? As to the former, can we really justify resuscitating (see Newsweek, Barbara Huttman article, “A Crime of Compassion”) an end stage, terminally ill patient 57 Times! Why of course, as long as it’s in the name of a merciful God! Holy Saint Kervorkian! Perhaps we are not as enlightened as we think. Shouldn’t a secular society’s highest value be individual choice? Whose life is it anyway? If my choices don’t infringe on your autonomy, why should you dictate my actions? We’ve come a long way, baby. When octogenarian men are dictating what women should do with their bodies, we’re in big trouble. Of course, this same group of living fossils is poised to do away with habeas corpus as a fundamental tenant of American democracy. Notwithstanding the fact that H.L. Mencken described democracy as a system led by privileged jackals voted in by a majority of jackasses, it’s still the best thing going, right? I mean a free society must set the standard for the rest of the civilized world: Abu Graib (torture), Guantanamo (no due process), the Patriot Act (the abolishing of civil liberties), Reproductive Rights (a concerted effort to rescind Roe v Wade), and so it goes.