“I hate things all fiction…there should always be some foundation of fact for the most airy fabric and pure invention is but the talent of a liar.”
-- Lord Byron 1788-1824: “Letter to John Murray,” 2 April 1817
What follows is a true story.
In the late nineties I decided that buying some land would be a good investment. And so it I was somehow introduced to one Charles Heineken, who subsequently sold me on an inexpensive parcel in a beautiful tract of land with some upscale homes already in place, and available pieces for the heady future that was sure to unfold post 2000.
The homeowners in place, of course, had a covenant forbidding trailers, livestock, shooting ranges, and such. Agreeing to this covenant, which I was required to do as a part of the purchase agreement, meant that I was responsible for paying yearly dues that covered plowing the road, garbage pick up, and a number of other services enjoyed by the association homeowners.
Since I signed on, the dues have gradually escalated, as would be expected; but what haven’t escalated are the economic fortunes of those that live there, including my own.
Needless to say, I have struggled to keep up with my taxes and the association fees.
Understandably, then, upon paying my last installment my frustration got the best of me.
Let me preface this by saying that about a year ago a certain member of the association used the association’s group e-mail as a platform for his political agenda. I might also add that the board immediately made it clear that this was inappropriate behavior.
Here then is a discussion thread I hope you find amusing.
Dear Board:
Just a note about the small gift I recently sent your way.
As I recall, about a year or so ago some of the Tea Bagging Patriots in your sad little neighborhood held a meeting to discuss the socialist threat presented by the incoming administration. Since you all commute from your nouveau-riche McMansions (no doubt you also approve of expanded drilling in the gulf. Who cares about a few shrimp and seagulls) you need your Hummers!
Which brings me to clearing the snow for your gas-guzzlers, as well as the disposition of the amount of garbage (I’m sure quite ample) you generate holing up your rural enclave. Have you contributed to the Hutaree yet? After all, they do share your same values.
I’m sure a pillar of these values has to do with not wanting to spend your hard earned money on government assistance programs that benefit you not in the least. I mean it only makes sense that you wouldn’t want to carry the shiftless masses unwilling to work and make their own way.
Which is why I’m hoping you’ll see the wisdom of exempting me from paying for YOUR SERVICES, when they provide absolutely NO BENEFIT to me. I don’t live there. I don’t use the road. And I try to avoid visiting uncivilized rural areas like yours as much as possible.
In closing, let me reiterate that I hope you’ll see the injustice of your socialist association’s ways, and quit hounding me for money that subsidizes your burden on the carrying capacity of the planet.
Best – Randall L. Tessier
Dear Mr. Tessier,
1. You bought land in this neighborhood knowing there was an association fee. Next time, read your contract before you buy land in an 'uncivilized area' then make sure you understand the contract before signing.
2. Your drunken rant does nothing to help the wildlife or the people in Lousiana. Twenty families, not all of whom are teabaggers, did not cause the oil spill with thier hummers, their Fords, their VW bugs, or any other such thing.
My friend in Louisiana whose husband is currently working 24/7 trying to stop that catastophe from spreading says your rant did not help him in the least. In fact, if you really want to help, get your boots on and go down there and participate in the cleanup, like he is!
3. Thanks for making the left wing look as bad and as annoyingly brainless as the teabaggers look. For your information, there are many people in this neighborhood who voted for Obama; who support single payer health care; who are anti-oil drilling, pro-regulation, pro-union, pro-environmental protection, and who felt that Mr. **** (the teabagger) should not have used this list for his fundraising purpose and who said so to the board
respectfully at the time.
So maybe next time before you get drunk and send out spiteful emails, you can think before you act. Your words did nothing to help, unless your intent was to make you look foolish. You succeeded at that quite well. Mission accomplished!
-- Faith
And this rant originates from an employee of the University of Michigan, a taxpayer funded institution that prides itself on the intelligence and open mindedness of its staff. I would suggest that the Board bring the contents of this
email to the attention of the UM administration. Using public resources, like email accounts, to spew such vitriol needs to be exposed.
-- Hope and Charity Blaze
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I would suggest we, as an Association, stay out of the emotional vitriol altogether and simply put a lien on the property.
When Mr. Tessier purchased the property, he became a part of the association and responsible to abide by the bylaws, one of which is obviously paying dues. The Association bylaws run with the land and were necessarily part of the closing on the property when Mr. Tessier bought it. If he chooses to disown his property and eventually let it default to others, that's his issue.
I think there is clear recourse for the Association to simply put a lien on the property if he refuses to pay.
I would also strongly suggest that the Association stay OUT of politics altogether in the future.
Regards,
Barbara Ann
Dear All:
While I don’t always have time to address every consideration that crosses my desk, let me attempt to patiently answer your concerns. First off, for those of you who may lack the intellectual savvy to recognize more nuanced forms of rhetoric, like irony and satire, I have no problem contributing to the welfare of others, including yours. This is what an enlightened society is all about. I know some of you voted for Obama, and I applaud you for that.
While I heartily agree that, as Ms. Ann suggests, the Association stay OUT of politics, as I recall, it was a group e-mail from your association, and a strong political statement against Obama’s policies, that landed in my mailbox last year. As for my, refusal to pay, the money was, of course, sent two days ago (why else would I send this?).
Lastly, I’d like to address Hope and Charity’s missive. As a university writing instructor, I am sorely disappointed in your response to my argument. Rather than address my claim: that some of you are benefiting from an act of socialism where I pay for your services while gaining nothing for it; you instead fall into a predictable rhetorical trap: the fallacy commonly known as the ad hominen argument (attack the man). It’s much easier to imply that I’m drunk, or vitriolic, or whatever, than to admit I PAY FOR YOUR SERVICES, and address that argument.
Best - Randy
Dear Mr Tessier,
I would like to address some of the concerns you raise in your email as well as a few of the responses. It is not my policy to begin a note in this manner, but since you don't know me personally, I will start by writing that I am classically liberal and very progressive. Furthermore, the residents of Manwich, in general, and Hilfigerlake Road, in particular, are a pretty even split of progressives and conservatives. In fact, Mancwich has become a bedroom community for UM professionals and I count as my local friends a number of physicists, conservationists, doctors, nurses, writers, and artists.
I empathize with your frustration with the fact that the official association mailing list was used as a conduit for a very contentious and provocative political advertisement. However, Mr. **** had never intended for this to happen and has told us personally that he regrets that it did. While I pretty much disagree with everything Mr. **** stands for politically, I can say that he is a decent person, like most people (excluding the Hutaree, of course). And like most conservatives, he does what he believes is best for the community, even if I believe he is seriously misguided.
Which brings me to the rhetorical style of your original post. I am not surprised you received some emotional responses. Frankly, I found your note insulting. While you claim to be writing irony or satire, this was neither. It is clear your intention was not to entertain through wit and irony, but rather to demean the members of this community and make a jagged point about the right wing's hypocritical despising of any social program. This is the difference between satire and a mean-spirited attack. In much the same way, Rush Limbaugh using the term "retard" is not satire, notwithstanding Ms. Palin claims.
Unfortunately, this style of rhetoric does nothing to alleviate the bad feelings between an already deeply divided polity. Furthermore, coming from a "university writing instructor" only affirms the ridiculous notion that intellectuals are out-of-touch, elitist prigs who disdain regular folk.
Concerning your critique of **** reply, I would advise reading up on your informal debate terminology. For his statement to be an ad hominem fallacy, he would have to be actively refuting your claim by using an attack on your character. In fact, he doesn't address your claim at all. Instead he avoids it completely and chooses to point out the fact that you are using a public service (the umich email service) to make a personal political statement. Simply stating that your email contained vitriol does not qualify as an ad hominem fallacy. If it is a rhetorical fallacy at all, it is a tu quoque fallacy. That is, pointing out that you have made a mistake justifies his making of a mistake; Or, the two wrongs don't make a right fallacy, as I like to call it. Personally, it looks more like a childish "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" kind of response to me.
Finally, regarding your argument concerning the association dues: I would point out that the dues are not for the purpose of paying for community services, per se, although recurring maintenance is part of the deal. The dues are primarily intended for maintaining the road for the long term. All garbage pick up is handled by individual homeowners on a parcel-by-parcel basis and does not come out of the association dues. Contrary to your assertion, this benefits you directly, assuming that your intention is to eventually sell your parcel(s) and make a profit. We have had to make a number of repairs to the road in the past decade due to normal wear and tear, although the wear on the road is much less than on a public road, thank goodness. When you get to the point of cashing in on your investment, you will get much more of a return if the road is paved and passable. For a real life example, take a look at the road directly across Austin, also developed by Chuck Heineken. It has not been maintained, nor even properly finished in the first place. The property is worth substantially less, if they can sell at all. The road is a disaster. I would not advise investing in some of the many properties for sale in that development. However, they don't pay association dues either.
I am not trying to start an argument here. Honestly, I believe you and I have a lot in common philosophically. I would, however, caution against sending emotion-laden emails to a broad audience and I hope you will take this message in that context.
Respectfully,
David Ann
Manwich, MI
Dear David:
Allow me to ramble a bit over your concerns.
Firstly, I've vented sufficiently, I don't mind paying, and 'll try to keep up.
What prompted my letter was the very cold notice I received informing me that your kindly group would be placing a lien on my property should I not pay up now, even in the face of some hardships I won't cry about here (I'm not surprised there are some bad feelings in your deeply divided polity).
Regarding Mr. ****.s comments: the implication that I was drunk when I wrote this most certainly does qualify as an ad hominen response to my argument (unfortunately, it's the strategy du jour of the negative campaigning now in vogue). The lack of refutation is exactly why it's a fallacy.
My gripe is this, given that your association is a good example of a socialist model of governance -- which is a good thing -- why is it so hard to admit that your benefit from my dues far out weights mine?
As for finding my post insulting, thicken your skin. Do you find Mark Twain's prose insulting? I'm sure all of you have larger concerns than this tempest in a teapot.
On the topic of elitist intellectual prigs -- of which there are many at UM -- even a minimal investigation of my current position and background would disqualify me from that status. The majority of my students are minorities who come from lesser socioeconomic circumstances (please google the Comprehensive Studies Program CSP). Do you have and minority owners in your neighborhood demographic?
Finally, please send an e-mail to the group assuring them I have every intention of paying my dues, and that I've had my say and will heretofore confine myself to that cozy little socialist enclave, Ann Arbor. However, should any on you like to meet me, I'll be playing with George Bedard & the Kingpins at the Manwich River Festival in August.
Best - Randy Tessier
Mr. Tessier,
Sorry Mr. Tessier for not responding to you sooner but my frequent trips in my gas guzzling Hummer with my Hutaree buddies to attend all the tea bagger rallies has kept me pretty busy. I think I can only speak as one board member of the Timberlake Homeowners Association when I say that we will not be hounding you for money in the future. Really, what would be the point? It is obvious to me from the content of your response that whatever medicine you are taking is not working. I am going to encourage the other “tea baggers” on the board to just proceed with the lien process so we can be standing somewhere in the line when Washtenaw County seizes your
property for back taxes in 2012.
I was going to point out that your argument was flawed when you so skillfully alluded to the fact that you don’t use our roads so why should you have to pay for them. Don’t many of us pay for services that we don’t use, such as school taxes or taxes assessed for Washtenaw Community College? I was going to say that to you but then I realized you don’t pay your County taxes do you?
Also while I am thinking about it, I don’t know what “little gift” you have in mind for us collectively but please don’t hesitate in personally delivering mine. You wouldn’t the first person that has tried to give me a little gift. Sometimes it is better to give than receive, isn’t it?
Best regards. ****
Mr. Tessier,
Since sending this email, I have been advised that your “little gift” was a cashier’s check for $600. From the tone of your letter, that was not what I was anticipating. I wish to apologize to you for the sarcastic and derogatory statements I made to you. I perceived your response to be an underserved attack on our collective intentions and potentially a veiled threat to us all. I have a tendency to become “assertive” whenever I feel I or someone I am associated with is threatened. I let my emotions dictate what I wrote to you and that was unprofessional and just plain wrong. I know that you are under financial duress and I am hoping that you will be able to make things right with Washtenaw County soon.
Hoping for your success -- ****
Dear ****:
Don't worry about it. My letter was off base.
Best - Randy
IMAGE: Mikel Jaso
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