“Life’s not just being alive, but being well.”

-- Martial AD c.40-c.104: Epigrammata

I’m feeling healthy as I write this. The cat just crept up behind me. I’m sitting next to some “Cowboys of the Silver Screen” stamps. Tom Mix, Roy Rogers, William S. Hart and Gene Autry. The images are of strong, sure, men, handsome and with purpose.

What prompted me to write is rather vague but important, at least for me. We’re heading north soon, and I’ll be seeing my close bud. He’s not healthy as I write this.

A recurring theme in all illness involves what kinds of assumptions we should make about the afflicted. I suppose a loose analogy might see a connection between perceptions on disability versus illness, and in some cases the two are coexistent. For instance, we imply a degree of unhappiness to the physically handicapped that oftentimes has no basis in reality. Why dangerous? Because cultural perceptions shape public policies on issues having to do with medical ethics, like euthanasia.

Perhaps the same might be said of health and sickness. We assume illness and diminishing health precludes the possibility of happiness, and maybe it does. And why wouldn’t we think to be unhealthy is to be unhappy?

The catch 22 in all of this is that there are degrees of pain, disability, and suffering. And that the extent to which each of us encounters the breadth of these dire calculations delimits our ability to define that threshold where happiness no longer applies, if indeed it exists, and I fear it does, dear friends. Maybe.

We may have attended different schools back in the day (St. Pete and St. John), but the message was the same: suck it up and offer it to Jesus.

Jesus changed nature. He provided an alternative to the nature of things. He said, build me a cathedral and you’ll go to a better place. Sweat it here and you’ll relax in paradise.

Trouble is, nature was here before God. They never told us to render onto God what is god’s, and onto Nature what is nature’s.

As the story goes, man is the pinnacle of God’s creation.

If this is so, it may be that man’s most self-damning invention, beyond all earth fouling gushers, is the concept of god.

Can you have grace without religion?

What is the connection between grace and happiness?

What is the point in suffering gracefully?

Do our families appreciate it?

Should we do it for them?

Do they want us to?

Who knows?

I’m not sure how he’s going to feel.

Should it matter?

Certainly.

The Crawling Eye! (Mine!)

First Serv. O! I am slain. My lord, you have one eye left

To see some mischief on him. O! [Dies.]

Corn. Lest it see more, prevent it. Out, vile jelly! Where is thy lustre now?

King Lear

Act III. Scene VII.

It was one of those days. Sunny, a pleasant temperature, and the birds were singing. Just like 9/11. I had an appointment at the UM’s Kellog Eye Center. A stock intro, you say. Let me try another. The least painful procedure that day was the three novocain injections in my right eyeball near the end of my appointment.

Having undergone cataract surgery 3 years ago, I was convinced a plaque had once again built up on my right eye. This is not unusual, and requires a relatively simple procedure whereby the plaque is simply lasered away from the artificial lens. It wasn’t that.

The diagnostic required to know this can cause varying degrees of pain. Everyone knows dentistry can require sadistic procedures, but not as many are aware that so too can eye exams.

“IS IT SAFE?”

Per usual, the dilation drops were applied and the doc pulled up a blinding light and began to inspect the poor orb. The patient’s task is to systematically scan the perimeter of their vision as the eye is examined. The next step is to administer numbing drops topically and probe the eyeball in the socket with a cotton swab. Oh boy.

The vitreous humor -- the equivalent of the fluidic mass within the grape’s skin -- is gelatinous, and within limits, can be squeezed without bursting the soft tissue of the outer eyeball. Probing and manipulating the eyeball allows a close inspection of the back of the eye – the retina. What they were looking for were tears in the retina.

What it feels like is a scraping of the eye with spoon or butter knife. The strain of fixing one’s gaze on a particular point in the room while the eye is squeezed and perused is both tiring and painful. “Do you need a break?” “No.”

Imagine the terra cotta color of the desert as a background. Then think of dried cracks in that parched landscape. Arid arroyos with burnt orange beds. Very surrealistic, an abstract landscape of pain, all so Daliesque. “That’s what it looks like, doc.”

This wasn’t the Retina Clinic (third floor), mind you. Not yet. The doc sees something, but he can’t be sure, so he brings in a bigger doc. Funny how the big docs relegate the torturous procedures to their underlings. The big doc affixes an adjustable lens that holds the eye open while he dials in a macroscopic view. From a patient’s perspective it looks like those telescopic shots of the sun experiencing solar storms. Wow!

He confirms the medium doc’s conclusion that I should be seen in the Retina Clinic. So it’s up the elevator I go. The exam is the same except for an excruciating twist, my eye is held open with metal retractors ala A Clockwork Orange. I ask him about the dry riverbed frescoes I’m seeing. “Oh, you’re seeing the blood vessels that cover the outer eyeball. Nice.

My over-stressed, rigid, contorted body and face are now ready for the big doc. I know he’ll be gentle. This guys wearing a suit sans a jacket, and I immediately recognize him from the banners hanging in the atrium of this brand spanking new facility. He’s world famous (don’t we all say this about our doctors? It’s comforting). Like the first big doc, he attaches the super lens and looks long and hard. He announces that he’s found some suspect weak spots (potential tears), and that cryogenic ablation (cryopexy) is required. I ask when this might be scheduled, and he says, “right now, we have the cropexy room prepared.”

UN CHIEN ANDALOU

To return from whence I started, the preliminary to the website description that follows was the administration of three novocain shots to the eyeball.

Usually, retinal cryopexy is administered under local anesthesia. The procedure involves placing a metal probe against the eye. When a foot pedal is depressed, the tip of the cryopexy probe becomes very cold as a result of the rapid expansion of very cold gases (usually nitrous oxide) within the probe tip. When the probe is placed on the eye the formation of water crystals followed by rapid thawing results in tissue destruction. This is followed by healing and scar tissue formation.

In the case of retinal detachment, treatment calls for irritating the tissue around each of the retinal tears. Cryopexy stimulates scar formation, sealing the edges of the tear. This is typically done by looking into the eye using the indirect ophthalmoscope while pushing gently on the outside of the eye using the cryopexy probe, producing a small area of freezing that involves the retina and the tissues immediately underneath it. Using multiple small freezes like this, each of the tears is surrounded. Irritated tissue forms a scar, which brings the retina back into contact with the tissue underneath it.

How did it feel? Ever had an ice cream headache, or what I call “brain freeze?” Each time the tip was applied to my eyeball it was like a laser brain freeze that extended from the eye deep into my brain. After multiple applications, I stood up, reeling from the chair to the door. Teary-eyed and feeling like Frazier after round 14 in his Manila fight with Ali, I’m told I can leave and they’ll see me Friday.

Best - Randy

MCGOO'S BIRTHDAY BASH: Poster by Tim's friend, Rick Jacobi

Mcgoo's Birthday Bash 7/30-31 Weekend

Dear All:

The plan is this. On Friday and Saturday, July 30-31 8:30PM,

an assortment of entertainers will descend on Big Bay Michigan and play some music.

As a nod to our friend, Tim M., the theme of our gathering will be to celebrate his Birthday. The boy is a Leo, and indeed a lion of a guy.

Friday Night will see “The Lumberjack Five,” (Andy Adamson, Dave Cavender, Kim French, Don “Cashmere Phunck” Kuhli, and Myself) hold forth. Our plan is to have a variety of special guests sit in as the night moves to a climax.

(no, we’re not doing Precious and Few)

At present, I am contacting some of those guests for permission to use their name on the promo.

Saturday will feature Mr. Bill Etten (see singer in photo at top of page) as the main event, he will be accompanied by Andy, French, Don, Dave, and myself, as well as other local musicians of note.

As the night wanes, jamming will follow.

Many thanks to Beamer for letting us organize and execute this event in his venerable establishment as we see fit.

There will be more on this. A poster and facebook event site is in the works.

Any photos that might help would be a welcome addition to our promotional efforts.

Best - Randy

Beyond 9/11

“The sea is the universal sewer.”

-- Jacques Cousteau 1910-97: Testimony before the House Committee on Science and Astronautics, 28 January 1971

Can catastrophes and disasters be measured? I suppose they can be quantified statistically, but can they be described in language? Certainly, hurricanes, earthquakes, and tsunamis are so blindingly awesome as to present a horrifying sublimity that defies representation. Words fail and images pale.

But what of those disasters of our own doing: like Chernynobyl, Bophal, and the current oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico (what will we call it?).

Chernyobyl was a level 7 Event on the International Nuclear Event Scale (INES), the worst nuclear power plant accident in history -- the only accident to ever achieve this rating. The meltdown began on April 26, 1986, and quickly subjected 600,000 people to high exposure radiation.

The Bhopal tragedy has to do with a Union Carbide pesticide plant that spewed lethal methyl isocyanate into the atmosphere, resulting in the exposure of over 500,000 people. Estimates vary on the death toll. A mixture of poisonous gases flooded the city of Bhopal, causing great panic as people woke up with a burning sensation in their lungs. Thousands died immediately from the effects of the gas and many were trampled in the panic. The official immediate death toll was 2,259 and the government of Madhya Pradesh has confirmed a total of 3,787 deaths related to the gas release. Other government agencies estimate 15,000 deaths. Others estimate that 8,000 died within the first weeks and that another 8,000 have since died from gas-related diseases. Some 25 years after the gas leak, 390 tons of toxic chemicals abandoned at the UCIL plant continue to leak and pollute the groundwater in the region and affect thousands of Bhopal residents who depend on it.

And what has seen us through our wonton pollution of the biosphere? Why nature itself. Writing in the april, 2010 National Geographic, Barbara Kingsolver notes that, “Water is the gold standard of biological currency. Unlike petroleum, water will always be with us. Our trust in Earth’s infinite generosity was half right, as every raindrop will run to the ocean, and the ocean will rise into the firmament. And half wrong, because we are not important to water. It’s the other way around”(49).

This notion that the human species’ continuance of a parasitic rather than symbiotic relationship with mother earth has a shelf life was long a concern of American philosopher and natural science writer, Loren Eiseley. In his introduction to Marston Bates’, The Forest and the Sea (1960), he forecasts what we have now come to 50 years later: “Man has lived within nature until now, and taken her for granted. He has lived with nature like an unquestioning child. This is no longer enough. Man must now face the prospect of destroying nature and, in turn, being destroyed.”

The wanton spew of oil and unholy mix of petroleum and dispersant should give we Yoopers great pause in so cavalierly consenting to the degradation of the Yellow Dog watershed by Rio Tinto. Phillippe Cousteau Jr.s images and descriptions of the toxic brew beg the question of how much havoc nature can withstand before it turns our worst B-movie science fiction films into today’s reality show. Ironically, Bates’ work appeared in the heyday of just these kinds of movies, as well as Rachel Carson’s bestseller, Silent Spring (1962), which predicted the consequences of using toxic chemicals to alter the rhythm of nature. Bates sees humankind’s disregard for the importance of renewable natural resources as a breach of reciprocity between ourselves and the environment that sustains us: “It looks as though, as a part of nature, we have become a disease of nature – perhaps a fatal disease. And when the host dies, so does the pathogen”(247).

Technology has outstripped us. As greed has displaced caution in our need for more, so too have we rejected our higher calling as stewarts rather than plunderers of the environment. It is as if the drill has punched a whole in the Godhead, and no one can save us. Hubris defines us. In, Memories, Dreams, Reflections (1961), C. J. Jung wrote: “It seems to me that the high mountains, the rivers, lakes, trees, flowers, and animals far better exemplify the essence of God than men with their meanness, vanity, mendacity, and abhorrent egotism”(45). By separating ourselves from nature we forsake the divine. We betray our best selves. And we neglect the idea of a covenant between our children and the future. Bates’ warning has been unheeded: “In defying nature, in destroying nature, in building an arrogantly selfish, man-centered, artificial world, I do not see how man can gain peace or freedom or joy”(255).

New York Times’ Science reporter, Carl Zimmer reports

that “Researchers studying the migration of bar-tailed godwits surgically implanted nine of the birds with battery-powered satellite transmitter, and found that the birds flew nonstop for distances of up to 7,100 miles from Alaska to their winter grounds in the South Pacific”(NYT 5/25/10).

The migratory and indigenous birds and fishes that inhabit the Gulf of Mexico and environs should be so lucky.

- Randy

Letters to a Friend

“Hear the other side.”

St. Augustine of Hippo AD 354-430: “De Duabus Animabis Manicheos”

What follows is a discussion thread between some U.P. poicas on the topic of immigration. The source of this interchange was a Youtube link posted on GF’s facebook ridiculing John McCain’s idea that more focus on building a fence between the southwest states and Mexico is a critical element in controlling illegal immigration.

Per usual, there are no edits.

AR: “Illegals have taken virtually all the farming jobs in the southwest, virtually all of the construction jobs, most of the line work in factories and a good portion of trucking. They have also taken over virtually all of the gang operations, the murders, rapes, robberies, drug dealing and methamphetamine production, and they make up approximately 40... See More% of the prison population here in California. They love liberal states with generous social benefits, and many are talking about Michigan as the next land of opportunity. I’m sure you guys will be welcoming them with open arms.”

GF: ”Actually, hard-working 'illegals' will do work that others won't do if you want to generalize. Building a fence will not work, nor will it stem the tide of the open border. I also find your posts mean-spirited and personally insulting. Don't bother voicing your internet wisdom here anymore dude.”

RT: "Bigotry may be roughly defined as the anger of men who have no opinions."

G.K. Chesterton 1874-1936: "Heretics" (1905)

PS: AR, perhaps we might put these illegals to work promoting a scam whereby we put them to work putting up phony TV satellite dishes by which we might bilk our unsuspecting friends and neighbors out of their hard earned money. It's the American way, dude!

GF: ”Randy, I think I may need to take one of your classes to gestate this.”

RT: ”The point of Chesterton's quote is that the teabagger's rely on a rhetoric of fear and xenophobia rather than logic and tolerance, on negative reaction rather than reasoned opinion. As for the PS:, there's a backstory here, young man.”

Peace - Randy.

AR: "Randall, I live in a mixed neighborhood, work with diverse ethnic groups, live in a city that is primarily Mexican/Mexican-American, in a state whose largest ethnic group is Latino. I have worked elbow to elbow with Mexicans, legal and illegal. Mexican-Americans and illegal Mexicans were at my house yesterday. Today there will be party here with a significant Mexican-American presence. You live in city and state that is overwhelmingly white. You work in a cloistered, rarified atmosphere with other white people, far from the realities and problems of illegal immigration, the southwest or working-class Americans. Your assertion that my opposition to illegal immigration is based on bigotry is patently absurd. My opposition is based on a number of things, here are the top four: 1) Illegal immigration drives down wages and restricts opportunities for the poorest of America’s citizens; 2) A country that does not defend its borders will soon cease to be a country; 3) Allowing unfettered illegal immigration is unfair to the millions of immigrants who go thorough legal channels to get here; and 4) Illegal immigrants cost taxpayers in border states billions in social services and in the housing violent felons in prisons.

Last, if the facts were on your side, I’m sure you’d argue facts. But since they aren’t, you’ve chosen name-calling instead. That’s disappointing coming from an old friend."

AR: “GF, words have meanings. If you look up the word “generalize you’ll find that it doesn’t fit my comments. I was quite specific. You’re right about one thing though, illegals do many jobs that others don’t want to do, field work in particular. But they also take jobs that many other DO want to do, such as construction, trucking and factory work. It’s too bad your sympathies do not extend to unemployed American citizens of all ethnic groups who would like to be working at these jobs right now . . . dude. I find your attitude mean-spirited and insulting.”

GF: “ the reality is 'they' don't 'take' jobs...someone is illegally hiring them. I will not be baited into an argument of non-rational thought. I know from observing family members who wants to work and who sits on their ass waiting for their check. If someone leaves their hometown, walks through a desert, pays a coyote $5000 to get them into a slave wage job to send money home to feed their family it reminds me how strong and fearless people can be.

Again-JOHN MCCAIN is a two-faced laffing stock spineless jellyfish who will latch onto any sordid idea to win...WIN WIN WIN. Sarah Palin?? That's who he picks to help run our country?!! Build a fence?? HAHAHAHA...whatta putz!

The point of me posting this video is for my friends to see this and LAUGH AT JOHN MCCAIN the ignoramus.

RT: “In your first post, AR, you used the phrase, "they love liberal states with generous social benefits." Yes, Al, "words have meanings." And oftentimes those meanings are simply code for a not-so-subtle ultra-conservative agenda. You suggest that things are somehow better for we out-of-touch liberals who live "in a cloistered, rarified atmosphere with other white people." As if Detroit is made up of white people," and that the realities of crime would go away in an all white world. Your "white people" reference is telling, since it suggests that the real problem is a deep-seated white, middle-class fear of a changing demographic where citizens of color will soon be the majority in this country. Note the way you easily elide the terms "they" and "liberal," setting up a convenient rhetorical polarity between an "us" and "them" in which the poor (those who crave generous social benefits), who are by extension of color, and those progressives (liberals of every stripe) who seek a color-blind social justice for all, comprise the "THEM," and you, who see socialism as an not only an invitation to illegals but an insidious government conspiracy and grave threat to the American way, as the "US." And that's what it's really about - us against them.

Best - Randy