December 26, 2009

"Wet Dogs, Rhubarb bars, and Relaxing After a Long Day" -- Mikey



“Someone said that God gave us

memory so that we might have roses in December.”

-- J. M. Barrie 1860-1937: Rectorial Address at St. Andrew’s, 3 May 1922


They say a sign of depression is when you cry by yourself. But what if it’s not your fault? Blame it on the bitter winds of winter, or failure of selective memory, or collapse of those denial mechanisms once thought inexhaustible. Perhaps it’s the realization the inexhaustible always ends.

The Nuns preached self-control because there is no other kind. What I didn’t get then, is that the concept of “God’s Will” was code for man’s having none. Being young, and at the self-delusional axis of an egocentric universe, I mistook the focus on self-maintenance as an ideological attempt to indoctrinate me with the myth that my autonomy was a threat. And further, that that threat was a form of power. Come to find out, the one threatened most was always myself. That ubiquitous self-help cliché concerning “being one’s own worst enemy” has its origins in the Biblical injunction to “do unto others.”

I suspect Twain had these things in mind when he scolded us that what we see as man’s most noble and sublime quality, the capacity to choose between right and wrong, good and evil, can also be seen as our “primal curse.” Unlike all other animals we can choose to be cruel, greedy, avaricious, and inhumane. Think about it, in general, wouldn’t you say your dog, cat, or parakeet treats itself better than you do?

The issues here are about autonomy and choice late in the game.

The holidays always bring out the worst in me. In Melville's purview, we’re all fast fish, and loose fish, too. If this is true, when the night draws nigh, is it we that determine when our last run is done. Having recently described myself as having a “last run” in me, does this mean that God sets the drag? Is “control” an obsolete metaphor? Is the dualism of control and submission fatally flawed?

A friend recently told me he was running out of time to keep running away. Sister Patience looked good once -- under that habit of youth -- but as a memory, she doesn’t age well. Patience requires time, and that’s a non-renewable existential resource.

Melville may have been speaking of autonomy versus fate, but his words also apply to the ways we meet our end. I’m happy-sad of late. And why shouldn’t I be when I see myself, and those closest, whither toward late winter.

And so my friend, at the end of our, “long day,“ when the senses fail, and the meaning wavers, we’ll both take comfort in memories of those who love us.

-- Randy

December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas




Dear All:


They say that all good writing begins with a passion for it. I’m sitting here stoned, gouty, and itchy, and I’m supposed to get crazy about this. What I have noticed is that anything of interest is autobiographical, and that most of us can’t achieve the necessary distance to sort out the chaos of our own lives. I certainly can’t.


Take for instance my childhood. My Catholic upbringing would seem a rich vein of self-reflection. But I can’t really describe the depth of how twisted it has left me. Those authors that truly approach the depraved sensibility my past evokes would seem too much to some. My friend and office mate gave me a compendium of Ivan Brunetti’s work that exactly touched my most decadent sensibilities. His comics unleashed my inner hysteric. The book is “Misery Loves Company.” I was going to try and describe it, but doing so would risk alienating even my most loyal supporters.


For you action movie, science-fiction fans, here’s my 4 minute + Xmas video card: go to youtube, search terms = Ataque de Panicol (Panic Attack!) 2009 by Fede Alvarez. Speaking of New age greetings, many thanks to Sudsy and Nancy for the Bob Dylan Xmas card.


I’m still sitting here…time to go to B.s for bone-in rib roast. But not before stopping at Frenchs to borrow some gout medicine.


Merry Christmas - Randy


December 16, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me! (and Ludwig Van)










Happy Birthday to me…and Ludwig Van…

Happy Birthday to me…and Ludwig Van…

Happy Birthday dear Randy…and Ludwig Van…

Happy Birthday to me…and Ludwig Van.

-- Randy Tessier (2009)


“No phallic hero, no matter what he

does to himself or another to prove

his courage, ever matches the solitary,

existential courage of the woman who

gives birth.”

-- Andrea Dworkin 1946 - : “Our Blood’ (1976)


“Contraception should be used on all conceivable occasions.”

-- Spike Milligan 1918 - : “The Last Goon Show of All” (1972)


"Only a fool would celebrate getting older."


-- Oscar Wilde


Finally, what our children think of us having them (see below).


December 15, 2009

Forever Always Ends

“She brought forth her firstborn son,

and wrapped him in swaddling

clothes, and laid him in a manger;

because there was no room for them

in the inn.”

Bible: St. Luke


I’m sure I’ve mentioned my aversion to the holidays. All that phony peace on earth and goodwill towards men baloney is enough to make the staunchest hypocrite blanch. Couple that with a football and gluttony fest thinly disguised by a nativity myth and you’ve got one sick holiday.

But seriously, getting and spending just ain’t what it used to be. How can you spend when you ain’t got? All that stimulus horsecrap can only work when the pig getting stimulated spreads the wealth, and you know that ain’t gonna happen, cause that’s a, whaddaya you call it? Oh yea, SOCIALISM! The Obamans’ plan was to have the fat cats share the wealth after the bailout trickled up from us taxpayers. So what’s the result of the corporate rescues and economic stimulus: lowered credit limits and escalating interest rates across the board. Nice. Oh well, at least the arms merchants are making money off of the war. That’s capitalism. It’s good?

Survival of the richest.

What happens when masses of people need food?

Unemployment, Swine flu, erectile dysfunction, foreclosures, rising prices, cancer, you name it, there’s always something to sway our attention from global warming. I say this in reference to the Polar bear.

The way Glenn and I see it is like this. Time passes, the earth changes, animals come and go, man is a part of that big picture, and the Polar bears’ inevitable extinction is a part of the universe’s natural process.

A fine thing it is when a guy steals your shoes at Christmas. I’d bought em’ on 8th avenue and only had em’ a month when they went missing. Wouldn’t have thought much about em’ were it not for seeing that scene in “Treasure of Sierra Madre” where the guys caught wearing Dobsy’s shoes after killing him on the trail. It’s about how the winds of envy and greed ultimately blow out the pilot light of character, the movie, that is.

Merry Christmas - Randy

December 10, 2009

Los Pishtacos



“We acted according to what we thought were the principles and traditions of this nation. We were wrong. We were terribly wrong.”

-- Robert McNamara 1916 – 2008: speaking in Washington, just before the twentieth anniversary of the American withdrawal from Vietnam, April 1995

It’s a cold and windy day. The 50’s brick ranch with original windows just doesn’t cut it when it’s below 30. Haven’t written in a while and I’m not feeling it now. Saw the liver doc yesterday. He confirmed my feeling that it’s an abused, but still functional, organ. He asked, and I consented, to take the cure. My only request was that I begin the regimen in the spring, which will allow me to take my medicine, so to speak, in the teaching off-season and warm weather.

B. and I traveled to Philadelphia over the weekend of November 19. On Saturday we went to the College of Physicians of Philadelphia's Mutter Museum. Here’s some stuff on that:

Our History

In 1858, Thomas Dent Mütter, retired Professor of Surgery at Jefferson Medical College , presented his personal collection of unique anatomic and pathological materials to The College of Physicians of Philadelphia . Our collection now boasts over 20,000 unforgettable objects. These include fluid-preserved anatomical and pathological specimens; skeletal and dried specimens, medical instruments and apparati; anatomical and pathological models in plaster, wax, papier-mâché, and plastic; memorabilia of famous scientists and physicians; medical illustrations, photographs, prints, and portraits. In addition, we offer changing exhibits on a variety of medical and historical topics.

Our Treasures

Our one-of-a-kind treasures include:

  • The plaster cast of the torso of world-famous Siamese Twins, Chang & Eng, and their conjoined livers
  • Joseph Hyrtl's collection of skulls
  • Preserved body of the "Soap Lady"
  • Collection of 2,000 objects extracted from people's throats
  • Cancerous growth removed from President Grover Cleveland
  • Tallest skeleton on display in North America


This place was way cool. What isn’t mentioned above is their collection of shrunken heads. Too much! You’re looking at a shrunken human head. R.J., you would love this

joint.

A shrunken head is a severed and specially prepared human head that is used for trophy, ritual, or trade purposes.

Most known shrunken heads were manufactured either by indigenous peoples in Melanesia and the Amazon Basin, or by European or Euro-Americans attempting to recreate the practice. In Amazonia, the only people known to have shrunk human heads are the Shuar, Achuar, Huambisa and Aguaruna, collectively classified as the Jivaroan peoples of Ecuador and Peru. Among the Shuar, a shrunken head is known as a tsantsa.

The process of creating a shrunken head begins with removing the skull from the head. An incision is made on the back of the neck and all the skin and flesh is removed from the cranium. Red seeds are placed underneath the eyelids and the eyelids are sewn shut. The mouth is held together with three palm pins. Fat from the flesh of the head is removed. The flesh is then boiled in water that has been steeped with a number of herbs containing tannins. It is then dried with hot rocks and sand, while molding it to retain its human feature. The skin is then rubbed down with charcoal ash. The lips are sewn shut, and various decorative beads are added to the head.

In the headshrinking tradition, it is believed that coating the skin in ash keeps the musiak, or avenging soul, from seeping out.

Shrunken heads are known for their mandibular prognathism, facial distortion and shrinkage of the lateral sides of the forehead; these are artifacts of the shrinking process.

Among the Shuar and Achuar, the reduction of the heads was followed by a series of feasts centered on important rituals.

The practice of preparing shrunken heads originally had religious significance; shrinking the head of an enemy was believed to harness the spirit of that enemy and compel him to serve the shrinker. It was said to prevent the soul from avenging his death.[4]

Shuar believed in the existence of three fundamental spirits:

  • Wakani - innate to humans thus surviving their death.
  • Arutam - literally "vision" or "power", protects humans from a violent death.
  • Muisak - vengeful spirit, which surfaces when an arutam spirit-carrying person is murdered.

To block the last spirit from using its powers, they decided to sever their enemies' heads and shrink them. The process also served as a way of warning those enemies. Even with these uses, the owner of the trophy did not keep it for long. Many heads were later used in religious ceremonies and feasts that celebrated the victories of the tribe. Accounts vary as to whether the heads would be discarded or stored.

Those damn South Americans are always up to something shocking. Check this story out:

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS 11/20/09

LIMA, Peru (AP) — A gang in the remote Peruvian jungle has been killing people for their fat, the police said Thursday, accusing the gang’s members of draining fat from bodies and selling it on the black market for use in cosmetics.

He said the suspects, two of whom were arrested carrying bottles of liquid fat, told the police it was worth $60,000 a gallon.

Police officials suspect that the fat was sold to cosmetic companies in Europe, he said he could not confirm any sales.

At a news conference, the police showed reporters two bottles of fat recovered from the suspects and a photo of the rotting head of a 27-year-old man.

The gang would cut off its victims’ heads, arms and legs, remove the organs, and then suspend the torsos from hooks above candles that warmed the flesh as the fat dripped into tubs below.

The band’s fugitive leader had been killing people to extract fat for more than three decades.

The police had received a tip four months ago that human fat from the jungle was being sold in Lima. In August, police officers infiltrated the gang and later obtained some of the amber fluid, which a police lab confirmed as human fat.

The suspects were arrested in a Lima bus station with a quart of human fat in a soda bottle.

I suppose I should talk about the war (can you say Obama’s folly?).

I’m too lazy, so here’s some excerpts from Bob Herbert’s Op-Ed piece in the 12/01/ 09 New York Times:

“After going through an extended period of highly ritualized consultations and deliberations, the president has arrived at a decision that never was much in doubt, and that will prove to be a tragic mistake. It was also, for the president, the easier option."

"It would have been much more difficult for Mr. Obama to look this troubled nation in the eye and explain why it is in our best interest to begin winding down the permanent state of warfare left to us by the Bush and Cheney regime. It would have taken real courage for the commander in chief to stop feeding our young troops into the relentless meat grinder of Afghanistan, to face up to the terrible toll the war is taking — on the troops themselves and in very insidious ways on the nation as a whole."

"More soldiers committed suicide this year than in any year for which we have complete records. But the military is now able to meet its recruitment goals because the young men and women who are signing up can’t find jobs in civilian life. The United States is broken — school systems are deteriorating, the economy is in shambles, homelessness and poverty rates are expanding — yet we’re nation-building in Afghanistan, sending economically distressed young people over there by the tens of thousands at an annual cost of a million dollars each.”

“Politicians are seldom honest when they talk publicly about warfare. Lyndon Johnson knew in the spring of 1965, as he made plans for the first big expansion of U.S. forces in Vietnam, that there was no upside to the war."s

"A recent Bill Moyers program on PBS played audio tapes of Johnson on which he could be heard telling Defense Secretary Robert McNamara, “Not a damn human thinks that 50,000 or 100,000 or 150,000 [American troops] are going to end that war.

McNamara replies, 'That’s right.'”

Nothing like those sentiments were conveyed to the public as Johnson and McNamara jacked up the draft and started feeding young American boys and men into the Vietnam meat grinder.”

Happy Holidays - Randy